Let's see... all the basics like electricity, running water, my tall iced vanilla latte from Starbuck's that I would most likely die w/out (sorry to be melodramatic). I also have been taking college & my parents for granted, but that has been a long-time thing. I will most likely miss college life, no matter how much I currently complain about it, once I graduate & start working a 9 to 5, paying rent, doing taxes, etc.

Sleep & sex -> sleep sex! I hear that that's actually possible since anything that can be done when awake can be done when one's asleep.

Ummm... life!?!

I've been missing my friends from southern California since I now live in Oregon. Even though I hated high school for the most part, I did enjoy the lack of responsibility & the feeling that I had a much longer time than I really did to decide what I wanted to do with my life. Now that I'm in college, I feel a constant urgency to make crucial decisions of which I currently feel incapable of doing. I basically miss taking each day one at a time instead of thinking into the future, such as what I'm going to do after college.

Well there's the typical biological answer that all living things are composed of cells and cells are composed of organelles, one being the nucleus which contains DNA of which genes are the evolutionary unit. I say that life is whatever one makes of it. Some people decide in advance that their life is going to be shitty, routine, and pointless & that even the occasional positive thing that happens won't sway their opinion. These people basically waste their lives living on the surface until they wake up at 50 & realize they've spent decades half asleep. On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who "live as if they'll die tomorrow," not wasting any opportunity. If something bad happens, OK, and hopefully something good will happen to cancel it out. However, these are both extremes on the spectrum, & most of us are somewhere in the middle. Whatever way one chooses to live, hopefully it's a result of a conscious decision & that that person is happy.

Safety to me means being within your comfort zone. There's emotional safety & physical safety.  For example, I recently was out of my comfort zone emotional-safety-wise when I asked out my graduate student teacher for coffee. As for physical safety, everyone who has ever driven in a car can attest that it is one of the most dangerous things one can do in their lifetime. No one has ever told me that I was safe, but even if they did I wouldn't believe them considering the above examples. I think that it's sometimes a good thing to not feel safe because in a sense you are getting more out of life by taking a chance & being out of one's comfort zone (at least emotionally).

I would ask that person to give me a hug and tell me that tomorrow's a new day, you're not alone, & everything is going to work out.

The incredible thing about being a child is the ability to live in the present & derive joy from the simplest of things. My favorite thing was to spend time with my dad who is no longer in my life. I used to love going to this place called Bird Rock on the La Jolla coast. I remember one day when the tide was low & we got to walk pretty far off shore. We sat on a rock & watched a lobster walking in the water. The sun was setting & it was just so serene & perfect. As adults we get caught up in work & school & kids. We get stuck in a routine to the point where we're going through the motions & staying on the surface of everything. Observing a child reminds me to try to live more in the present.

I get into these moods sometimes when I feel like nothing matters. Having a neocortex is a blessing, as it allows humans to do much more complex things than "fleeing, fighting, feeding, & ****ing," but at the same time it is also a curse as we are tortured by the thought of our finiteness & that our life has no purpose. In talking with a friend the other day, I realized that I should stop being gloom 'n doom & just be happy that I'm alive. It's astounding when you thing of it that everything worked out just right to allow life--plants releasing oxygen, ozone layer (the part that's still remaining), the earth being just the right distance from the sun. Nevertheless, it's incredible that humans have evolved to the point that they can contemplate something as abstract as "what is the meaning of life."

The biggest thing is the anonymity. I'm shy to the point of selective mutism on occasion. I'm hoping I can work my way up to being more comfortable opening up to people when face to face.